The number of times I’ve been through hospitalization is getting ridiculous. And it doesn’t seem to be doing much good, I stay on the same 4-6 month schedule of suicide attempts.

I spent last weekend hallucinating and seizing in my bed. It wasn’t enough for coma or death, just enough to make me miserable for days.

So, I made a decision. I’m seeking out residential treatment, a thirty day program, at least. Those little hospitalizations have kept me alive, hopefully this big one will give me some quality of life.

This is going to be damn expensive. I’m gonna fund raise in any way I can think of. I might be annoying. But at least you aren’t attending a funeral today, right?

Please, if you have any ideas, lob them at me. I appreciate all the help I can get.

And I’m not gonna kill myself today.

No promises about any other day. It’s like AA. Just for today. Chunking.

I can make it through today.