I walked into IOP particularly bedraggled on Wednesday. Intending only to reduce the amount I’d need to pay for residential, I got my sorry ass out of bed and into my normal treatment. I sat, hunched and still pulling the sleep from my eyes, when Karl called on me. He asked what skill I’d use in a particular situation-could I think of anything that’d help the guys. I pulled myself up a little before I suggested “Opposite emotion is what comes to mind.”He asked me to explain it. 
“Opposite emotion is behaving differently than you feel in the hopes that you can influence yourself to feel differently. Like, if you’re angry, intentionally softening your expression, bringing your shoulders down, taking a step back. Or if you’re sad, there’s evidence that doing a little Mona Lisa smile will cheer you up.” The group laughed and I sat up a little straighter. “Or, like me, you’re tired and grumpy and don’t want to be here, sit up and engage with the group more.” Karl smiled. 
Later, when I had to go through my own recovery log, I spoke of how I feel like I can’t win and progress gets robbed from me. Then Karl wanted to do an exercise. 
He asked the group what everyone thought I was doing right in my recovery, and how I benefitted the group. He gave everyone a few minutes and had them write on 3×5 cards. Here’s the contents of my own card-
following the recovery skills/tools worksheet

reading a lot

avoiding cravings by using sweets instead
The time between writing that and waiting for everyone else to finish was glacial. 

Here’s a list of the things everyone else said about me, 
Caring

Wants serenity

Hope

Smart

Helped me when I got emotional

Caring, work conscience, talented

Blog, parental support, horses, researching treatment options, coming to IOP

Bright, educated, informed

Sense of humor, well spoken, good teacher, goal setter

Hope for future, researching options

Still coming to IOP, not giving up

Intelligent, truthful, hopeful

You don’t give up, always looking for something better or different to solve your problems. 

Very intelligent, knowledgable, modest, loves animals, honest, open, talented, diligent, resourceful, resilient, sense of humor, planning, taking it day by day, not giving up, honesty. 

Knowledge

1 Know what you’re talking about

Very able to see up what you’re saying

2 Very caring person

Especially about others

3 Wants to get help and not giving up the search for it

Knowledgable

Skilled

Friendly

Meaningful to this group

Tenacious

I’m really writing this to drive it deeper into my midbrain, not to show off or anything. 
And I’m not gonna kill myself today.