I came in 
to work tonight 
for my dad 
at midnight, 
as I have 
been tending 
to do lately 
so the majority 
of my time 
can be free 
of Christian music 
and misgendering 
and deadnaming, 
and I saw 
that my mom 
had turned 
on the 
Christmas lights 
on a cool 
mid October 
midnight. 
I automatically smiled.
Then I appreciated 
that smile,
 and the fact 
that I could 
appreciate 
that smile, 
and how far 
I have come 
to be at peace 
with myself 
while they 
be them. 
Suddenly 
my dad 
walks in 
while I am 
writing this, 
to check on 
whether my brother 
left his office 
light on. 
Just me. 
Tapping on my phone. 
He mutters 
about the doorknob 
needing work 
and says 
his goodbyes 
and wanders 
in to bed. 
I fix the doorknob 
when he leaves. 
Sometimes 
it feels like 
all the effort 
towards a relationship 
is on my end, 
other times 
the conversations 
between us 
flow incendiary 
and the world burns 
and societal norms burns 
and spiritual standards burn 
but then on such a fundamental level 
they just don’t get me, 
they’re waiting for 
this phase to pass, 
they hope if 
they just ignore 
Halloween 
they can skip 
the demons 
visiting their house 
and head straight 
to the celebrations 
they understand 
so here we are 
hopefully lighting 
Christmas lights 
on a cool
mid October 
midnight 
and waiting 
for the demons 
to pass. 

-Rex M