Have fun and be good.

“I got thoroughly chastised by Krista for throwing away a banana. She said you’d still eat it.” My dad was busy writing a check for the Snap-On man but he still smiled.

My mom pitched in “He still might if he can find it in the trash. What was wrong with it? Was it bad?”

“No such thing as a bad banana,” my dad chirped.

My mom made a blanket disagreement. She’s not sure if there’s any such thing as a good banana.

“It wasn’t ripe.”

My father turned turned to the Snap-On man and said “I get a lot of crap for pulling thing out of the trash. Reusing paper plates…”

“The dogs already cleaned them, so they should be fine!” My mom grins.

My father nods to her and says “She draws the line at floss.” He pauses. “At least after the dogs got a hold of it. ”

The Snap-On guy keeps grinning while I huff. “I remember getting all kinds of mocked when I brushed the dog’s teeth when I was in 4-H.”

I think he gets a lot of amusement out of this particular stop. Whenever he leaves, he reminds us to “Have fun, and be good!”

Yes or no?

Will there
EVER
be a day
where you
can stop
gargling
your own cock
long enough
to listen
to someone else’s
opinion,
or are you
eternally sworn
to be
so far up
your own ass
that it’s kinda
hard to tell,
since your posture
looks
fairly normal?
Can you tell
that I like
phrasing questions
in such a way
that neither
yes nor no
will be a
flattering
response?

Run with it

When we went to get ice cream, he notices that happy faces are an option for 25 cents. He says “I know I can count on you to make the immature decision.”
I glared at him and he said “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

I ordered a happy face with a malicious smile. I point out to him “see, I took something, made the immature decision, and ran with it one step farther than anyone else would.”

Mark helpfully hiked up my dress as I squatted in his basement, trying to braze his pipes(not a euphemism). He mentioned before to Alyssa, “I’m surprised she didn’t change.” He was making a funny face as I walked in, which I immediately called him out on while Alyssa explained. He doesn’t seem to be picking up on the fact that I give no fucks.

At one point, Alyssa and I are cuddling and mark says to her (I don’t remember why) “she could comfort you. I can tell that she wants to.”

He kissed us both goodnight and said “I don’t know how you can say no to her.”

Whenever he goes to bed, he always tells us to have fun. So endearing.