Uhaul

You with your
weaponized laughs
and mechanized grins,
me with
enough issues
to pack into suitcases
and fill a uhaul
to the brim,
together we do a
Frankenstein waltz.
Despite your training,
you listen less than talk,
judge more than watch
and I with my lack of experience
and skewed introspection,
I take your words
at two face value.
I can’t quite
declare this
relationship
nontoxic,
yet my actions
make me the bad guy
in this
dystopian
existential
drama.

Think of them.

Think of
all the things
you’re never
gonna know.
Let that percolate
in the silence
that you’ve formed
under your skin.
So many things
about so many people
in such a
damn big planet.
But you
specifically,
will continue to know
very little about me,
moving forward.

Snot and Tears.

My husband
didn’t change
the laundry over.
That’s all.
He’s asleep,
burrito’d into a fuzzy blanket, oblivious
to the world around him.
My world.
So I chose
To go downstairs.
To my grandmothers bed.
Which,
six months later,
still smells like her.
I wish I
couldn’t feel.
Couldn’t sit here,
drinking her in
while wondering
what exactly
about her
wrinkled, knowing smile
that I’m forgetting
at
this
very
moment.
I need a goddamn hug.
A whisper and a cuddle.
Someone to wipe my tears away
and tell me that she loved me,
she cares,
that this pain isn’t without reason
or without end.
But I hate to wake up valuable, contributing members of society.
Not for me.
Not for this.
All he had to do was change the laundry over.
Then maybe I wouldn’t be
percolating
in snot and tears.