Tag Archives: floss

Or else it gets the hose again…

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I caved and bought face wipes and moisturizer the other day.

I liked my skin. My skin was alright and did just fine on its own.

BEFORE TESTOSTERONE.

Now I’m an oil pit and yet somehow a dry oil pit. It’s a real bastard.

I’ve noticed this self care appreciation thing coming on gradually as I’ve increased my ritual before bed.

It really began with rubbing scar gel in where I was scratched at work. I’m seeing results, which is really like, dandy magic.

Then I bought the fancy floss.

God, I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I’m so easily marketed to. I just- you know- I like nice things. I hadn’t known that floss was a fancy thing that I needed, before someone told me. Someone on the internet. Who was selling the fancy floss.

It came with a travel newsletter entitled “Flossophy.” There’s quizzes and recipes. Yoga instructions and an instagram challenge. It’s the most hipster goddamn floss on the planet.

But it is nice. Super scrubby feeling. Very effective. Why did I pay 8 dollars plus shipping for floss? BECAUSE SELF CARE THAT’S WHY.

To be honest, it’s worth it if I floss even a little bit more because of the fanciness. I gave up on my teeth for so long. I have such bad habits. I felt like there was no chance I’d even live to 30, so why should I worry about cavities?

I’m in a better state now, and I wish I could take that back. I think everyone that has neglected their teeth feels that way.

Now, though, I choose self care.

I rub scar gel onto my arms, so my battles can be my own business.

I floss so I can chew for many days to come.

I moisturize to keep from flogging myself with feelings of inadequacy.

Have fun and be good.

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“I got thoroughly chastised by Krista for throwing away a banana. She said you’d still eat it.” My dad was busy writing a check for the Snap-On man but he still smiled.

My mom pitched in “He still might if he can find it in the trash. What was wrong with it? Was it bad?”

“No such thing as a bad banana,” my dad chirped.

My mom made a blanket disagreement. She’s not sure if there’s any such thing as a good banana.

“It wasn’t ripe.”

My father turned turned to the Snap-On man and said “I get a lot of crap for pulling thing out of the trash. Reusing paper plates…”

“The dogs already cleaned them, so they should be fine!” My mom grins.

My father nods to her and says “She draws the line at floss.” He pauses. “At least after the dogs got a hold of it. ”

The Snap-On guy keeps grinning while I huff. “I remember getting all kinds of mocked when I brushed the dog’s teeth when I was in 4-H.”

I think he gets a lot of amusement out of this particular stop. Whenever he leaves, he reminds us to “Have fun, and be good!”